In Which The Jig Is Up

Oh, guilt. You great motivator, you. So I do this thing where I tweet-confess to needing to blog so that someone (inevitably) will encourage me to do so. (Yes, Janelle, you are the muse today! And the swift decline in my kitchen’s pickle population is also your doing.)

{Crickets}

“What’s the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you?” – “Show us pictures?” – “Anything for my little readers!”

So, basically, my newly-seven-year-old is an MG reading fiend. He’s currently reading the third book the How To Train Your Dragon series and the fact that he finished his first “real” book on his seventh birthday was sort of awesome. As is the fact that he reads on the subway. #NerdLove

“What else, Bethany?”

“[sigh] Oh, things.”

“Riveting.”

“Bite me.”

{Cuddles and kisses!}

ADDENDUM: Okay, I feel like I owe you an explanation. (Mind you, I felt this conviction seconds after initially publishing this post and not before.) I came home with EVERY intention of justifying your love…and then had to fill out the dreaded first day back to school forms that came with getting my little one from the iron claws of that school. And yeah, my brain juices, they are zapped. I’M SO SORRY!

Please Do Not Encourage The Bear.

So, I was totally not going to blog today because I’m lazy and also because … no, wait, it’s just the lazy thing. I did mention something about this into the internetz and Cat (whose first and middle name are Just Write) asked me which movie I’d review. It’s between The Squid and the Whale and Steel Magnolias. Let me explain.

I live in Quebec. I guess – to some – that would be Canada. That’s another conversation for another blog post for a time that will more than likely never arrive. Anyway, the point is that I am cut off culturally. This is what America does to its patriotic expatriate children. It cuts us where it hurts the most. In the television. Or laptop, as the case may be. I’m like an HOUR outside my home country, people. GIVE IT. But anyway, they won’t and Canada has this thing that’s supposedly the equivalent called Globaltv.ca which – I’ll be honest – has at this point given me hours and hours of “entertainment” but let’s never forget that I make due under duress. [Aside: I feel like I have some sort of slow spreading tv cancer though because I have watched every episode of Rookie Blue. Do NOT ask me what that is. You will regret it. It’s not turning “good” by any means but after a year of not getting to watch Law and Order but those seasons I already own…*breaks down* it’s getting to me. I’m chuckling right along with them and I DID NOT CRY last time but if I did, it’s because I have a child and therefore anything about harm coming to one’s child even if said child is now grown will upset me and I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU.]

Wait. Wait. Where are we? OH! So the Canadian Hulu Alternative. They have these movies that they swap every week or so and they’re all ridiculously old. In the past two weeks I’ve watched Prince of Tides and Bad Boys. (And obviously now Steel Magnolias and The Squid and the Whale, which I shall have henceforth call SW because come on.) And you’re like, why don’t you just watch one of the movies you own? Funny story/true story. The husband and I used to go to the movies about three times a week before we had the child-god and after that we used to buy movies 4 or 5 at a time at Blockbuster. So the other day, in Cote-des-Neiges en route home from someplace, we decided to swing into Blockbuster (remember. it’s. not in the US.) to check out what was on sale. 5 for $20 when you have seen all your own movies a batrillion times was just not something we could pass up. So in we went. And down we tumbled. For you see, there were about seven movies to choose from (multiple copies of each, bien sur) and the movie I can remember was All About Steve which was apparently that super stupid looking Sandra Bullock/Bradley Cooper flick. So. I guess we coulda bought five copies of that?

I’m pretty sure I’ve never experienced clinical depression before the moment I had to sulk out the door with nothing.

SO. That explains why I have these two movies from which to choose, review wise. Can I just make a note about each and call it a day? I’m so far off the road right now…

S.W. – Okay, this movie immediately grabbed me. The immediacy of the characterization made me pause it and twitter that I was in love with it. So you know it’s good. #Twitterinducing

All wonderful performances. If anything, I’d ask Billy Baldwin why his thing was “brutha”. I love slice of life, particularly when it’s coherent. *cough*Sideways*cough* <– As in, you weren’t and you were pointless and you suck. But this isn’t about sucky movies. *cough*Sideways*cough*

I absolutely loved Jeff Daniels. For the same reason I thought the others were so good – it was never overdone. Somehow, without introduction, it never seemed like a caricature. I’ll definitely be watching this again soon. And the authenticity of Walt recognizing the flaws in his hero, particularly because of the way his reconciliation with the other parent doesn’t immediately follow but you see that longing – and yes, Cat, this is in regard to your wondering. 🙂 I just loved it. Even though I immediately and for the duration of the movie was thinking, “Hey, I was gonna watch The Royal Tenenbaums.” Which may be why I so quickly fell in love with SW. It filled the interest I had at that precise moment. And when I saw the producer credit at the end, I wasn’t exactly surprised.

Loved the cinematography, also. Clumsy, intrusive but not noticeably after the first few introductions. Just enough to make you feel a little self-conscious for watching these people so closely.

That. Was my one comment about that movie.

SM -> Why didn’t anyone tell me Julia Roberts was mediocre in that movie? And why did Shirley Maclaine have a thing for movies where a mother with a daughter with poor judgment in men loses said daughter to an organic disease after daughter’s had child with not-best-pick man and then mother had emotional tour-de-force breakdown which is absolutely the best part of the movie? To be fair, Terms of Endearment was a much more poignant movie for me. And I already loved the characters because I’d seen The Evening Star like seventeen times before I ever saw its predecessor. Steel Magnolias was okay, I guess. I loved Shirley, Olympia, Sally and Dolly. The guys were pretty one-dimensional, if that. Oh, but Dylan. Nomnomnom.

Again. This is Cat’s fault.