You Will Regret This Night

Didn’t we have fun yesterday. Oh, what fun we had.

May I renew my displeasure with the WordPress admin bar up top? *Renews displeasure with the WordPress admin bar up top* Good. Now that we’ve handled that. It bugs the crap out of me and I don’t like having to scroll and junk. I don’t need half of what’s up there. Where do I customize it? And don’t say I can’t because I’ll punch your virtual face. Which. Will leave your literal face entirely unharmed. I don’t even know how much I’d hurt you if I literally punched your literal face. I’ve never attempted it in waking life and in dreams, there are forces outside of my control which slow my punch and dull its intended force such that I never make contact or by the time I do, it’s in super lame slow mo’ and the target is staring at me with eyes at half mast. It’s all pretty upsetting. Why can’t I hurt you?!

Ahem. So after a semi-life-shattering couple of days in which my dog broke into the kitchen and ate chicken bones and spent two days passing BLOOD THE LIKES OF WHICH I HAVE NEVER SEEN…he appears to be fine. I called three emergency animal dealies, only ONE of which was open while I was freaking out and who told me basically what I was reading at the time. His intestines could be ruptured or it could be tearing in his rectum, the latter of which is gross but less life-threatening, obviously. He didn’t mind having his abdomen rubbed and junk, which was a good sign. Wait twenty-four hours unless it was a lot of blood – which it looked like, but then wasn’t when you know…the feces was taken into account.

That’s my baby. And as long as he doesn’t abruptly keel over…I think he’s out of the woods. Idiot.

Which reminds me, I gotta eat lunch.


9 thoughts on “You Will Regret This Night

  1. Well, his cuteness makes up for it.

    Wish I had read this before dinner…then I’d be skinny.

    Okay, who am I kidding? Skinnier.

    Wait a minute, I’m anonymous. I am skinny! Positively stick-like. People are always telling me I need to eat more.

    But not chicken bones, clearly. Yuk.


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