Man, I wish I could post my wip. I’m bursting at the seams to share it, especially after doing what my brain forced me to do (on threat of seizure) and putting the first chapter “in its proper order”. But I really feel like it’d be the wrong decision. So I’m pouting instead.
I just realized there’s an unfinished blog post draft…here’s all it said: When a girl says she’s “not trying to be slutty”, my immediate thought is…clearly you’re not trying hard enough. If the issue’s on the table…right. Huh. For some reason I think that’s in reference to that little girl whose teeth remind me of Kylie Minogue. Oh, Hannah Montana. Well, that’s not her rea- youknowwhatImean.
And I decided, dear reader, to give you a list of Things That Shan’t Disappoint. I forced myself to keep it about entertainment and art, blah blah blah because CLEARLY motherhood doesn’t disappoint but how many of you will care about THAT?
Things That Shan’t Disappoint
(1) Ender’s Game. I don’t know if I can say these are in “no particular order” because falling asleep last night I was thinking about how this book is not only the thing that gave my husband that cocky stride – he said it didn’t matter if I don’t love scifi, I’d love this book and it didn’t matter if I only loved literary, I’d still love this book. I had no intention of reading it, you understand, and was going to instead read Speaker For The Dead (Of the dead? I always mix it up) because Orson Scott Card said I didn’t have to read them in order but my husband had a seizure so I didn’t. And I read this book in secret. Because I didn’t want him staring at me with a wide-eyed-psycho-grin while I read it (and I didn’t want to have to admit it if the book was awesome) but then one day, I ran out of my hiding place and told him I was reading it because I needed to be able to swoon to someone. O_O Yyyyeah. When people talk about the emotional response to plot points and junk, usually that’s not what I’m reading for – beauty of language, lyricism, seamlessness, thank you – but I distinctly remember the feeling of something falling into the pit of my stomach and I’m pretty sure I said something aloud. At this point, I’d long since admitted reading it and I could run to my husband for comfort. He’s a good guy.
(2) Dark Knight. Usually there’s a law against a movie being hyped. Seriously. To the degree that this movie was hyped? It’s better just to not see the movie at that point (but of course, that’s not an option because it’s a movie and I heart movies and nothing but death will keep me from them). O_O Anyway. This screenplay was jamazing and ridiculous and my stomach hurt throughout the entire movie. Gaw. ILOVEDTHISMOVIE. And it was so emotional…that I’ve never seen it again. Though I will, of course. But I cried after the movie went off…which I’m relatively certain was a first for me. Hey, Jen, remember when we went to see Romeo and Juliet and you cried in the aisle when we were leaving? That was hard.
(3) Tillamook Pepper Jack Cheese.
O_O Um, I wasn’t intending to mention anything like this but that emotional memory thing with the two first things gave me like an emotional association with the times I’ve actually moaned eating something. I’m not one of those people who just lives for food or talks about food or thinks about food. But, I can’t remember a single time I had my first bite of this pepper jack (as in new brick having been bought) that I didn’t moan. That. Good. This one may of course disappoint if you don’t have a soul (ie don’t like or refuse to try it)… but I feel like if that’s the case, it’s best to know up front.
Montreal doesn’t sell this and if they ever do, it will be $100. Please bring me some. The Havarti Jalapeno is pretty darn good but still. Homg, and ribs. RIBS. But those can disappoint, depending on who grilled them. Not everybody can be the grill queen. *wink!*