Please come back tomorrow.
No, wait, just kidding. There’s a couple hundred posts you can read in the meantime. And there’s always the excerpt pages: TMLA (which I’ve told you stands for The Momentary Light Afflictions, yes?), Callisto’s Charm or Margaret…or the WIP. Unfortunately, you can’t read the television pilot but. You’ll make it, I’m sure.
Or you could use the contact page and email me how sad you are that I’m sick. Or you could go to Kimchi and get me a number 1 with a side of charbroiled chicken. Nom nom nom. Although it’d probably taste like neon green … well, you get the image, yeah?
Since I’m all surly anyway, this is a good time to ask a couple questions about which I’ve long wondered. (1) Am I the only unpublished author who doesn’t think pretending to have the addictions of Hunter S. Thompson makes me a better or more promising writer? Please. Stop with the bourbon jokes or the 99 bottles of wine jokes or the otherwise hackneyed and redundant insinuations of how much you have to drink to make it through the day. It doesn’t make me wanna read your work, it makes me wanna call an interventionist. I’m gonna start telling people I have to shoot up Windex. (I’m not going to tell people that.)
(2) Am I the only unpublished author who doesn’t personify her work? I do not have voices in my head. They do not fight for my attention (in the way people make it sound). I realize that seems all romantic and junk to some people. I create the voices. I am not schizophrenic. Big difference. But then I also dream in pictures, not words, which is another horribly romantic misconception that people like to encourage. When I’m being “hounded” so to speak, it means a particular project of mine is replaying itself over and over (if it’s a particular scene) or otherwise that the reel is progressing and if I don’t write it down, it might not replay and I’ll have to construct something as opposed to having that more organic conception. Again. Not mentally ill. Just an artist. I think that’s enough.
Now I’ve gotta go get a new little bag of kleenex.