My husband, the poor dear.

So for a very long time, I have – with varying degrees of success – tried to explain to my husband just how bad his facial and voice recognition are. How distressingly below average, even. Now I’m taking it to the public, crying out for your suggestions, medical prescriptions and or other non-conventional intervention tools one might use in helping him.

Examples:

He thinks the redhead from NewsRadio is Kathy Griffin. (Despite my repeating insistence that her name is Vicki Lewis.) I would post a picture if everyone didn’t know what Kathy Griffin SOUNDS LIKE. Seriously?

He thinks the pre-cog from Minority Report (played by Samantha Morton, pictured on the right) is the same woman who was in Law and Order: CI and SVU (Martha Plimpton, pictured on the left: in the former, playing the daughter of a brilliant eccentric who happens to be Goren’s mentor and in the latter playing a troubled heroin addict whose mother is a murderer). Let me show you what these two women look like, mmkay?

And for those of you wondering: yes, my husband is clearly a self-hater who thinks all white people look alike. I’m pretty sure the gruffy voice of Martha and the obviously hidden accent of Samantha should have been a big indicator, but whatever. They do both have bowing teeth to some degree. But clearly Samantha cleans up nice.

I can’t even remember all the other examples because I usually make something like a Scooby-Doo sound when he confidently recalls the other role in which he’s seen or heard someone (if it’s an animated film). He’s so weird. Is this at all related to his tone-deafness?

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2 thoughts on “My husband, the poor dear.

  1. Hah! Yeah, I know Martha’s a little rough to look at sometimes but I think she’s such a great actress. You wanna see drug addict, you should see how she looks in the SVU episode in season three.

    Like

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