Rings and Things and Finery

HEIN?! No. I can’t. I won’t.

Which led me to the wonderful site Tackyweddings. She’ll see your “grandma passed out at my reception” and raise you a “Lavish Irish Traveler Wedding Between Cousins“.

mcdonald wedding

Whoops.

Yup. That looks about right.

And I just want you to know – that Hello Kitty makes wedding gowns now. Does each and every one have a hello kitty head somewhere on the front? Yup.

And then: how come I never get to go to this America?! Where are you hiding, elusive shamelessly illiterate and trashy hillbilly land?! And I don’t mean where can I find one of you. I mean, where is this magical land where the droves are hiding!

And in case you’re wondering, no. None of this takes the place of the pictures for which I was originally searching. Lord Jesus, how do I even begin… imagine…a skinny and visibly retarded product of inbreeding. And I do mean that literally, not in a funny way. He was clearly lacking the wisdom of a three year old. And by his side? A 600 pound sloptastic bride who was clearly gettin’ while the gettin’ was GOOD. She took him home and deSTROYed him. Promise. Man. I leaked from every possible orifice. Crying alone took years off of my life. Man, I can hardly get my breath just thinking about it. Jesu. FRABjous day. WHEW.

Man.

Just Married

Just...cleansing the palate...

Okay, but I never noticed how I’ve got my bouquet in a serious chokehold. Dang.

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2 thoughts on “Rings and Things and Finery

  1. Yeah. I remember driving past something on the coast and there were all these modular homes, which to most Americans = um, gross. And then finding out these were vacation homes. Little caravan towns. Yummers.

    Couldn’t find the one that prompted the search but I think we can all agree that what I found was wonderous.

    PS Why is wordpress being weird and publishing comments out of order and also not telling me when I have comments?!

    Like

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