HEIN?! No. I can’t. I won’t.
Yup. That looks about right.
And I just want you to know – that Hello Kitty makes wedding gowns now. Does each and every one have a hello kitty head somewhere on the front? Yup.
And then: how come I never get to go to this America?! Where are you hiding, elusive shamelessly illiterate and trashy hillbilly land?! And I don’t mean where can I find one of you. I mean, where is this magical land where the droves are hiding!
And in case you’re wondering, no. None of this takes the place of the pictures for which I was originally searching. Lord Jesus, how do I even begin… imagine…a skinny and visibly retarded product of inbreeding. And I do mean that literally, not in a funny way. He was clearly lacking the wisdom of a three year old. And by his side? A 600 pound sloptastic bride who was clearly gettin’ while the gettin’ was GOOD. She took him home and deSTROYed him. Promise. Man. I leaked from every possible orifice. Crying alone took years off of my life. Man, I can hardly get my breath just thinking about it. Jesu. FRABjous day. WHEW.
Okay, but I never noticed how I’ve got my bouquet in a serious chokehold. Dang.