But I realized – it’s important not only to my intended Fulbright project but to anyone who thinks I’m stupid enough to “run away” to any other country – the people need to know.
Canada is that fictitious place that’s never known slavery, discrimination or malintent. (Please do not overlook my sarcasm, as they practiced slavery for two hundred years.) As showcased on this past New Year’s revue, Bye Bye 2008! An annual tradition to ring in the new year, this time around the skeeziest of writers and producers got together to make racist jokes! Because, as we have seen and now hope won’t keep coming as an unexpected shock to white people – the electing of a Black man to the American presidency brings racism back to the overt. It’s now okay to make jokes about us because we’re all even now. More than 400 hundred years of oppression and dehumanization all done away with in one day of voting. Ha-ZAH! One Black man can make an institutionalized system disappear. Because we all know that statistics regarding education, incarceration and the like will be marked different the day after the inauguration. So what’s wrong with a Quebecois sketch wherein a pretend Obama is mistaken for someone else because “all Blacks look alike” – and I’m pretty sure my use of the word Black is a euphemism for what was actually said. There was also that colorful joke about assassination, which of course is totally not a frightening concept to the first Black president amid the wave of surprising “jokes” and “anecdotes” since his election. But it’s all in good fun ’cause we’re all bros now!!
Here’s the thing that should have sent one producer directly to the guillotine and I am. Not. Joking. People love talking crap about America – ‘member, we’re the ones who don’t omit slavery from our history – but um, here it’s illegal to reveal the identity of a rape victim and probably a really hot civil case at the least when one is slandered. By the daughter of their offender. Yeah. Read the 7th little paragraph. This chic’s dad is in jail for raping the woman she slammed on the NEW YEARS EVE SHOW. HEIN!? Are you effing serious, you’re trying to convince someone that the idea to lampoon your dad’s victim came from a roundtable brainstorm?! Who in that room aside from you was even THINKING about it and/or raised their hand and was like, “You know who’s due for a good ribbing? That chic your dad’s in jail for sexually abusing!” That woman needs to lose her job and then be forced into bankruptcy before finally settling into a degrading life as Amy Winehouse’s coke mule and, should the need arise, tick remover. I am completely vomiting in my mouth over that one.
But, yes. People were pissed. Thank God.
You know what’s as annoying as people pretending that Black President means racial equality? People not-so-discreetly wondering if my son will aspire to the Presidency. Because he’s mixed race, I’m sure. A) Last time I checked, Obama wasn’t the first Black man to aspire to the Presidency. B) Plenty of things have been done ONE TIME that didn’t mark a cataclysmic change in the world. Call me back at least once the Presidency has STARTED. God. You guys really like to get ahead of yourselves. Just been waiting to dance around and proclaim any underprivileged minority an official whiner because not ONLY did we get the right to vote, but we got a President that looks like us. All of us, apparently. (I’m totally making myself laugh right now.)
It was inevitable in a covertly racist society that ONE member of the group would be championed to the top. Dude, did Alexander the Great teach you nothing? Of course you take ONE bride of the country you’re desecrating. Any tyrant can tell you that. Little spoken fact: If it’s love, there’ll be more. No, I’m not raining on the parade of the Baby Boomer generation who worried such a thing would never happen (or…in my Dad’s case… the generation right before that); but they’re the generation that gave up on the Civil Rights Movement. Let’s be the generation who doesn’t get distracted by shiny tin foil, yeah? All I’m saying is victory doesn’t come from scoring one goal. If racism is dying, Obama’ll be the first in a long line of diverse Presidents. More importantly, the socio-economic divide between Americans won’t be so married to their race.