And Catch It, Honey!

It’s a crazy world we live in, I tell you. Just not this crazy. This – I assure you with no reasonable way of doing so – is not real. I realize it’s being reported by the BBC, but I’m fairly certain it’s supposed to read: The Onion. And if you’re holding it in, do feel free to laugh. That’s how this type of thing works. You do something like this on purpose and you forfeit your right to sympathy. The best part is that when I first read it, I didn’t even mentally recognize the thing about their being midgets. I did however recognize that they were Cambodian. Don’t be mad. But I kinda assumed small stature. And then, I got to the midget part. And I doubled over in laughter.

In more serious news, I’m very impressed by Cisco TelePresence. And all the good it’s doing. I’d like whatever video feed will let me talk to that guy from the commercial. It’s funny because I did notice how his hair was most definitely arranged farther forward than it likely grows on its own. So basically he’s slightly older than me but has the hairline of Nicolas Cage. But it’s ginger. And curly. And he talks with the same clenched/half-shut mouth charm as Ryan Philippe and Brad Pitt and…hold on lemme prepare myself to say his name… Djimon Hounsou. Or as I like to call him… DA-JIGGY-MON! Ohhhhhh, Da-jiggy-mon… I’m not even going to post a picture….because I can’t find one without Kimora Lee in it. The most unfabulous wanna-be icon “designer”. You know what I think – immediately, it’s like knee-jerk – when I see a grown woman wearing one of those shirts with that cat on it? I think… tacky. Tacky or trifling. Let’s just say, it’s not haute couture. It’s like a new emblem for those corner clothing shops that has all the windows covered with posters of the labels they carry. Which you know means the labels of which they’re selling obvious rip-offs. I’m not sure how best to describe this, but clothing shouldn’t be a thin scrap of material with the edge folded over and stitched into place.

What the heck were we talking about? Oh, that’s right. The hilarity of Gary Coleman and his retarded bride. I’m not even going to talk about the physical pain I felt listening to her “talk” to Steve Harvey on Tyra Banks. And when a comedian refuses to make very obvious observations about how you completely missed the point of what he said … you know you ride the short bus. Don’t search for it on youtube. Because you’ll find it. Only people who can honestly watch those American Idol pre-season shows without covering their ears and banging their head into walls ( a la Gary Coleman) or closing their eyes and screaming in order to drown out the horror emitting from the television… those people could probably stand it. But I make no guarantees.

11 thoughts on “And Catch It, Honey!

  1. Oh. my jaysuz. that is so wrong, and yet so funny.

    I feel dirty now, thank you. I am an awful human being.

    Oh, and I think we saw Mr. Coleman in an elevator at UCLA or something…maybe it was just me, anyway he looked angry and …not attractive. Then again, he has a lot to be bitter about.

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  2. No, no, the story is in fact real. I can’t help but smile when I read it (even the fourth time) and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make me a bad person so much as a person with a sparkling sense of humor.

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  3. Here’s how I see it: I didn’t ask them to take on a full-grown lion. But now that they have (and a considerable amount of time has passed since), I don’t think we should waste it by not laughing!

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