That’s Tough Stuff

*Title is a shout-out to coo-coo beans, hella funny guy from season before last of Project Runway… how did I forget his name?!?

Soooo, my husband so rarely chooses a song “for” me that when he does, they instantly sound so much more meaningful. There’ve been two thus far – wait, three – to my recollection and the two I usually remember have been Alicia Keyes. She’s one of those people whose voice is beautiful to me but to whose music I don’t “listen” in the sense that unless it comes on the radio and I happen to be listening to the radio (which is the improbable part) I’m never hear it ’cause I’m never gonna buy it. So, I really probably wouldn’t have been the biggest fan of “No One” if he hadn’t brought it to my attention. Especially because – as my girlfriend noted – her voice sounds “imperfect in it”. And then, of course, Josh had to go and say how that’s precisely why it means so much to him. He’s the guy who can’t say what he feels (long non-stereotypical story you shall never hear) and imagines that if he could finally force it out and say what I mean to him, the strain/weight of what he wants to say would be raw emotion. And that’s why he thinks she sings that song purposely raspy. Because she can finally get the words out.

Anyone who knows him will understand why I’m like: O_O.

And why I’m listening to that song.

In other family news. I’m not – nor do I plan to be – in the family way. And I can’t seem to hear the end of it. Seriously. The in-laws (I hesitate to use that title because I have such a real aversion to it… it just sounds like you’re forced to be in a relationship with someone and I love them to death so I never call them that, same goes with broseph, Andy) have launched a rather aggressive campaign. Every conversation somehow
came back to how Ezra would do so well with a younger sister. When I talked about his very obvious (to me) confusion at trying to discern what had changed in the presence of his much younger cousin, they somehow segued that to his being such a good older brother. I was like… I thought we were talking about how your firstborn “loses” something when you have another child. Not something horrible, but they do go through something and I wanted to make sure to go back to being all about Ezzie for a few days when we came back so he knows his place hasn’t changed. How that became, it’s time for a little girl (or how they decided we could “figure out a way” to choose to have a girl)…I’m…not sure. Seriously. When you get engaged, it’s: when is the wedding?!? You get married and it’s: when’s the first baby?!? You have the baby and everyone calms down for a year or so (give or take a couple of retarded people who immediately start in with the second child questions)…and then it’s like, BAM. Way more aggressive pressure than before! What the heck, people! If it’s up to me (the me at this moment), I’m done. Why don’t people accept that stance, though? There are plenty of people who are more than willing to give more grandchildren. And even then, it’s not because they’ve given in to pressure. They honestly want and planned to have multiple children. Maybe I’ll change my mind. Doubtful that it’ll be because I keep getting weird non-sequitors.

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8 thoughts on “That’s Tough Stuff

  1. You were so beautiful when you were pregnant (you are now too). Remember all the compliments you used to get from my dad lol. Isn’t that a good reason to get prego again? And, It touches me that you take so seriously songs that make me think of you. You’re the sweetest.

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  2. Awwww! *passes out*

    *regains consciousness* Yes, your daddy was even more adorable to me when I was preggers. Like when we showed up to caravan to my graduation and I was huge and he opened the door and gasped, “You look wonderful!”

    NO! I WON’T DO IT!

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  3. 😛 You know what’s ruined me to having more of my own? Realizing how connected I feel to my sisters’ babies. Hah. Sisterssss are doing it for …their …sisters….?

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  4. What if I did a slow clap to every one of your posts?
    Just kidding.
    I’m always for more kids, but I totally respect the fact that you are done. Although I feel like when you’re forty there’ll be an “OOPS!” situation again and you and Josh will be traipsing right back into parenthood again. Oh life. You do beat all.

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  5. Again, I totally read your comment again. And again, you’re right again. There were too many agains.

    When I’m forty, we’ll be emptynesters. Unless I somehow convince Ezzie that he’s supposed to live with me through college and beyond. We’ll see how that shapes up.

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