Today’s News, Fodder For Comedians

Since I currently have no comedians on staff… nor a staff… I’m forced to give you my own reactions to the news stories that caught my attention (ie, Yahoo! brought them to me).

Let’s start with Madame Clinton: We are obviously witnessing a Britney Spears-like unraveling, people. It’s time to step in, Bill. I understand that Hillary didn’t say it herself but, dang: What America are y’all living in?!? I could have sworn that being a Black man would be the primary reason one wouldn’t do well in a presidential election! Now, come to find out, it’s the secret weapon! Not only is this monumental bitter-speak – which we’re coming to expect from the former First Lady’s camp – but also is doubly offensive because of what it implies. As my husband quickly argued, wouldn’t this mean that the harrowing employment, incarceration, economic statistics/reality of this demographic then fall squarely on the lower-expectation having shoulders of the men in question? (Let’s not get into the long conversation about self-fulfilling prophecies and people who honestly do seem to have lowered expectations because then we’d have to talk about the history of oppression in this country and I know you don’t wanna get into that.) Like, if all we had to do to be president was run for president … why the hell is it 2008 and we’re just getting around to it. (No, I’m not a Black male but you understand.) Man. I just wanna hit that woman in the fallopian tubes. With forgiveness. It’s not her fault adversity brings out the Confederate in her.

And then….I’m not even sure how to classify this one. Um… does the story make more and more sense the farther you get into the article, too? Because the title itself – at face-value – is ridiculous. When you get the progression and motivation, it gets sad. But clearer. And also makes you wonder why the boyfriend didn’t call the police sooner. Still, they don’t give a real indication of the amount of consistent time she’d been in the sitting position. If you didn’t read the article…this all sounds very strange, I’m sure.

Let’s end with a tale that makes you want to die, especially if you have children. Try and imagine what I would do to someone if I were the other parent. Just try. The miracle of them surviving is the only thing that kept a dark cloud of depression from descending on my house today. This is yet another example of the peril of a widely interpreted set of mandates (mandates which, remember, are not federal and therefore not similarly implemented nationally). Two parents do the same things, give the same red flags and two different CPS agencies act completely differently. Too many stories to share on that front. Let’s reconvene at a later time, friends.

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5 thoughts on “Today’s News, Fodder For Comedians

  1. Black people have known all along that they could have been president when ever they got around to it. Its kinda like CP time. White people have been under the Black man’s heel for too long!

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  2. Wow.
    Hmm, I like this quote from article #2:
    “The why remains a mystery to us,” police Lt. C.L. Williams said. “If you try to apply logic to these incidents, they totally defy any logical explanation.”
    which perfectly matches this quote from article #1:
    “I don’t think anybody can make any sense out of it,” he said.

    Hmm, I think I have two stories for you in trade, let me see here, here’s one for the weird:
    http://www.4029tv.com/news/14664847/detail.html

    And one for the flying babies:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23016437/

    That picture is freaking heartbreaking.

    Oh, and as for Clinton: yeahhh…..UndercoverBlackMan is streaming a funny rant by some guy I guess who is like, big in lib/dem newsland or something, I guess he’s been licking Hillary’s butt up until now or something, anyway, check out the vid on his blog here.

    http://undercoverblackman.blogspot.com/2008/03/keith-olbermann-puts-hillary-on-blast.html

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  3. Whoa. Just read the first article. Dang. Um. You win.

    Uh, I win for article two because my story’s mother was trying to achieve the opposite.

    And I’ll get back to the Black Man. Dinner is late.

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  4. Just watched the Keith O vid. Preach on, preacher. Hows about a Democrat spewing such inflammatory remarks like the sourest of losers (who hasn’t even lost yet).

    But really, it’s just a very sad testament to the state of our nation. I have to begrudgingly take my hat off to the allusive speech of this nation’s founders and the engineers of racism. To a job unfortunately so well done that one can’t even consider a non-White American for anything without reducing them to their non-Whiteness. If we win, it’s Affirmative Action (wait, is A.A. supposed to be a negative then? Puh-lease); if we lose, it’s due to the “reality” that we’re not capable of doing the job. It’s exhausting. To constantly be reduced. *shakes head* I love it, but I’m so disappointed in this country.

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