Save It For The Scare Floor

The best part of V-day? Tomorrow… and likely for 364 days after… we will see no Vermont Teddy Bear commercials. How tacky bon-cheapskate are these things? I guess they cut the quality and went for length… but I’d never consider even receiving one of them. Looking at the poor thing would enrage me to no end. And the “office” staff who either had lipstick on their not-so-zestfully-clean teeth or were wearing a t-shirt in their cubicle (and I mean “Look Who We’ve Got Our Hanes On Now” t-shirt)? Sweet Milk. It was horrifying. “Where can I get a guy like that?” A guy who’ll go online and buy you a teddy bear? Anywhere. Try Home Depot. A Sports Bar. Under a rock. … It’s just not that hard to buy someone something offline. And if you think $49.99 is a lot of money… when said knight-in-shining-armor skips dinner, I’ll welcome you with a hearty “I told you so”. And lest you think I’m that bitter jaded girl who has gotten what she asked for (ie the guy she picked up in the club who was buying her drinks and was her father’s age didn’t treat her like the smart, sophisticated woman she “is”)… I’m only talking about the men from this commercial. Hahaha. Seriously. And I guess anyone convinced by its 80’s porno budget.

I’m waiting for my Daddy to get here. Why do I pretend he can be punctual?

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2 thoughts on “Save It For The Scare Floor

  1. $50 is nothing these days, that won’t even get you a dozen red roses anymore. UNLESS you get them from a non-english-as-first-language type person on the side of the road, they tend to have good deals.

    Seriously, $50 is like birthday spending…if you’re going to spend $50 on me I want some shit I can USE. Like, I don’t know, clothes or tools or computer parts or something…not some bullass stuffed animal or etc.

    Like

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