What Hurts The Most

Why is it permissible to glaringly reduce the criteria to fit a new …. “genre”, let’s say… as opposed to using the standard to comparatively eliminate them all? You already know what I’m talking about. That sad, possibly suicide-destined ugly girl from The Hills whose Beverly Hills makeover left her with a less-gag-inducing visage and a more porn-producing decolletage. Now, I appreciate that she’s making homemade music videos and forgoing the sex tapes (for now)… but it’s … sometimes, using words will only cheapen the sentiment. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of myself vomiting while playing hacky-sack with a dead kitten. The splayed finger pushing-forward-and-upward motion she seems to think people have ever, in seriousness, used to express their overwhelming need to express themselves musically whether they have ever held a tune or not… it is so funny that I am therefore certain the pair opted for a dolly or crane or something to navigate the camera, lest the snorting and stifled laughter that no doubt rippled through his body would have “reduced” this attempt to something resembling The Blair Witch Project. To be fair. The annoying girl dies at the end of that movie. The part that pisses me off is not that she is attempting this. It shows she’s been paying attention. And that just maybe she is as dumb as she looks. What pisses me off is that a review that portends to rake her over the coals begins by conceding that it’s not as bad as what other pop culture/reality show/otherwise uncredible (read: unincredible) “starlets” have put out over the last few years. I’m sorry? What’s our logic? “It’s horrendous. But it’s better than getting gang-raped without anesthesia.” … Fine. I’ll give her that.

I was gonna talk about how much I love being Josh’s personal assistant and how much satisfaction I get from making sure everything’s done and/or on track logistically so that he never has to worry about it or just generally removing certain things from his plate that I think would add stress or anxiety to his day. How perfect this internship possibility is for his entire life plan. How succinctly things work together. I really was. But pop culture has, again, zapped the life from me. What is our generation doing?? LAME!!

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One thought on “What Hurts The Most

  1. “The splayed finger pushing-forward-and-upward motion she seems to think people have ever, in seriousness, used to express their overwhelming need to express themselves musically…”
    You make me cry…seriously. And I have seen not one, but several people do that! Pretty painful.

    Like

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