Something Something Queen Latifah

How. HOW have I neglected to blog about this?! Ever?! Babs helped me see the light with her hilarious series on her adventures in drama school – no, seriously, go to, go to!

But what of my days in theatre, you ask. And not that time I lip synced Too Darn Hot in college drama while wearing a plastic lei and dancing around with the lovely Laurisha. (And you thought owning the soundtrack to MGM’s Kiss Me Kate was silly. PISHPOSH!)

Nothing of my days in theatre because I wrote the above like eleventy days ago and now I have to tell you about something else. ::screeching needle on a record sound:: And I’m seriously too confused to try to be funny.

So, this happened.

ASĀ we were watching it, my husband said, “A blog’s coming on.” That’s hilarious in itself since, as we all know, he’s not talking about himself. Basically, Josh said I have to blog about Joyful Noise. And it only took me two or three days to comply.

Because I’m not really sure what to say? Yes. I’m…sort of lost right now. It’s like when you watch the second season of Being Human (US). Every so often you forget you’re watching something that just isn’t great. (That’s a compara-burn.) Maybe a list would help clarify.

(1) This should’ve been a stage play. Seriously, there were scenes – short and seemingly accidentally left in? – where I could’ve sworn I was watching a church play. That Corky directed.

(2) The problem with it being a church play? It was Christian the way you’re Christian if you go to church on Easter. >.> Which made me wonder who their target audience was? Like, it felt like they kept changing their minds. Whether because the Bible never came up in the “church play” dialogue or because no one seemed to know much about God other than Queen Latifah’s character – who then agreed that God “made” her son autistic…without ever having a genuine conversation about the fall (ie sin entering the world). Now, you may wonder why this matters… um, because they’re pretending it’s a Christian movie but they’re presenting a secular and uninformed version of it? Right. The same way books have to be more logical than real life (as in the plot and character motivations must be clear as opposed to in reality), a movie with an “angle” shouldn’t be so lazy as to be like, “well, there are plenty of Christians having sex outside of marriage.” If you’re gonna have a choir member who is one-dimensional do that, at least don’t have the pastor be totally blah about it when it’s brought up in conversation. Actually, have people act however you want – but don’t expect people to believe it’s a faith based movie if you don’t say anything about what they’re doing. #notrocketscience

(3) I like musicals and because this movie didn’t actually know what it is, I kept going…oh….they’re gonna sing again. But I will say that Queen Latifah’s solo at the piano was beautiful. Her character, dialogue, etc was spot on. It was crazy. You don’t usually find a character like this in an otherwise shabbily crafted movie! Every time she spoke, I was like, YEAH. Thank you for having sense.

(4) What was the conflict? Like, they tried to play up the Cat-Face-Woman (Dolly Parton) and Choir Director (QL) rivalry but then for like an hour, they forgot? Also, there was seriously like a Bye-Bye Greasy deal with the romantic storyline – except what? They had a snort-inducing “fight” at the quarry and then he played with the choir? And also, it was only his third scene in the movie so it was kinda cliche and remarkably dumb? Oh, right – the whole will they get to perform at Nationals or some Glee-tarded thing. It was like Glee meets Sister Act but with a better overall cast and …. I lost it.

(5) Keke Palmer did just what I was praying she would. She matured! GAH! So happy. This girl is gorgeous and I loved that she got her own nick show but she apparently went to the Angela Basset school of overemoting and I sort of got used to cringing when she FELT. THINGS. But no! She was great in this! And I loved the scenes with her and the main guy.

(6) Which brings us to the apparently new south. And I have no problem with it. Who’s tired of encouraging-by-oversaturation the whole racialism-is-all-we-are-ness of movies set in the south? Present day, I mean. Don’t go trying to rewrite history or anything. But also, it was clearly an agenda thing because it was so over the top. Every gospel choir was seemingly equally diverse and the only relationship that wasn’t interracial was the one you basically only saw in home movies. So I had no problem with it. Does that make sense? It being over the top made it obvious they were saying, get over the stupid. Shout out for Blasian stuff, even if it was pretty inconsequential and laughable and then BAM, wedding. Who cares. It wasn’t the worst thing about this movie.

(7) Yeah, basically, I watched the entire thing – only really REALLY bothered about Dolly Parton’s face and her retarded and almost ungodly bra size. Like, WHY?! Sit down somewhere, girl. And because of so much “wth” happening, they could basically do whatever they wanted. Even have snapshots of mini characters better suited for the stage, have glee club moments and not really flesh out a single aspect of the narrative. And still – since I figured out it was not to be taken too seriously – have a somewhat enjoyable movie. That I might even watch again, for QL and Keke.

(8) I do wish they had devoted more time to the love story. They were pretty much together immediately and we only got a small build…including a throw away line about how they’d interacted as kids…yet her brother hadn’t ever met him? No idea, friends. But the kids were cute together.

(9) I don’t remember Keke being that strong of a singer…::cough:: Also, I didn’t think her Man In the Mirror song was good enough for what it was supposed to establish in that scene.

(10) Aaand then I had to watch Just Wright. Because I love Queen Latifah. And plus it was all NBA cameos and awesomesauce. And COMMON. O_O Yeeeeah, Imma need to watch it again. Loved it. Paula Patton’s character was hilarious. And this IS the cutest poster ever.

6 thoughts on “Something Something Queen Latifah

  1. That is the cutest poster ever. The movie was okay. It was a little awkward for me, to be honest. Mostly because Common is so good looking that it became hard to look at him after a while. Kind of like staring at the sun.
    Now, like I told you, I haven’t seen the movie yet because it hadn’t come out on DVD but please believe I will soon because Who got it? Latifah. And in the scenes I’ve seen so far Keke pleasantly surprised me with the absence of her Angela Bassett side eye (she nails it, though) and then there’s that guy named Jeremy Jordan who is an amazing singer and I guess since Keke can hold a note they thought she could HOLD HER OWN in a duet (NOPE) but it’s okay I’ll still watch because let’s face it there’s still goodness to be had. And now that I know about the blasian love well… *chuckles* that’s all you needed to say.
    Don’t even get me started on Dolly Parton with the face and the mammories and the fact that they had to write her plastic surgery addiction into the screenplay. Gross.

    • (17) THEY HAVE TO WRITE IT INTO EVERY.SINGLE.SCRIPT SHE DOES. SHIOASJODJAS. WHATDOESTHATSAYPEOPLE.
      (B) She seems to hold her own and I’m left wondering whether she actually matured there too or whether there’s some … movie magic happening. (Sorry, Keekster.)
      (3) EVERYTHING you said about Common. Equals sun.

  2. First, I now don’t know WHAT to think. I love Dolly Parton, but I hate to look at here these days. And Latifah is so talented and she isn’t used well enough anywhere. ANYWHERE. And people keep giving Jonah Hill and Zach Galfinakis work. HOW?

    You’re so darn smart. well done, lady, well done.

    • Dolly Parton is almost too much a caricature to play anyone but herself at this point and that’s sad because I like her. Latifah is amazing. Hip hop, singing, acting, modeling? What can she not do and well!?

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