My Name Is Mr Stefano. I Am An Italian Man.

Okay, just this once I’m gonna tell you what the heck the title means. So the title was originally gonna be the Constable character (played by Cedric the Entertainer) saying, “You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking who got me out of bed at ten in the morning for this.” But then I was like, that’s really long and would require explanation. So then of course, I thought of my other favorite lines from A Series Of Unfortunate Events and voila! Mr. Stefano.

Clearly not an Italian man.

I feel like I should say something normal now.

::spit bubbles::

No, I read…about the fact that no Pulitzer was awarded for fiction this year. Which…a lot of people were upset about. I tried to get on the righteously indignant side, I really did. Facebook knows! I shared TWO articles about it!

>.>

Okay, I guess I just don’t get what you’d be upset about. Like. It’s there to what, promote worthy literature as discerned by a jury and then ultimately decided by a reputable committee? (Maybe? As in, is that the process, I’m not entirely sure at the moment.) So, the thing that many writerly types seemed to be upset about is the fact that this award forever changes the trajectory of the winning author’s career. (That’s a quote but I can’t remember the source.) And sell a bunch more books. So they feel it’s not fair to not give that to someone this year.

That logic, I gotta be honest, is lost on me. The prize is really awesome so regardless of whether you feel anyone reached the standard for which we created the award, GIMME. Is that about it? Yeah, I can’t get on board with that.

I also can’t get on board with the audacity and horridaciousness-osity-ment of the Maloof brothers. If you’re from Sacramento, let’s just show solidarity with five minutes of uninterrupted, angry eye contact. And then not tell anyone what we’re talking about for fear that the anger will only intensify and horrible crimes might be committed. In our thoughts.

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