Yeah. Somebody bought a storage closet, excitedly assembled it and then wouldn’t make eye contact with me when he had to ask me to unzip it and let him out. Mm-mm-mm.

Okay, so I just bought The Hunger Games. I KNOW. I’m ridiculously behind, though you must understand, I cannot buy and read a book simply because it gets a lot of steam. I’ve been burned before. (Heh, see what I did there?) Now, I’d read the first few pages on Amazon and was almost over the edge – I know what you’re thinking: how could you read the first pages and still need incentive…it’s not literary, the language itself didn’t seal the deal. So, what finally did it? And by did it, I mean it was too late to get to the bookstore that same day but immediately after church the next day, I went to the nearest Indigo and yoinked it?

This. This spoiler-including, slightly inaccurate video.

Imagine my surprise to find Rue isn’t a little blond girl, but a little black girl. ::shrug:: (This is where I expect JenJen to go off, by the way.) ANYWAY. That scene totally got me. I couldn’t fight the urge to see how the story unfolded, how dark Suzanne Collins went, etc.

I was INCREDIBLY restrained and only read 250 pages the first night. (Although at some point, I said to my husband that I was gonna stop for the night or I wouldn’t be able to stop at all…he went to brush his teeth and I thought, well, I’ll just read until he gets back…yyyyeeeeah.) The next day, I put off reading so I could look forward to reading. O_O I’m not kidding.

Things you cannot do with an e-reader: Curl back the binding of the book as though if you can open it just a little more, you can actually climb into the book. Thrust the book (melo)dramatically into your husband’s chest with your last ounce of strength as you collapse after reading the final page. Curl into the fetal position with it and inhale its book-y fragrance.

O_O

I have spoken aloud while/and devoured a book thusly on three occasions.

Ender’s Game.

Kindred.

The Hunger Games.

And because he knows me – oh and also because I asked him while standing at the cashier at Indigo if he wanted to read it together, even though he was finally buying the book in the Bean/Ender series he hadn’t had…which I think you can gather didn’t happen because I inhaled the book – Josh wanted to know how it’s possible that my lifeblood in literature is character-driven literary fiction…yet I take forever to read a Toni Morrison (the first time) and the few times I find a high concept novel I like, I tear through it.

To me, this is like asking why I don’t eat Laffy Taffy in the same manner in which I eat hard candy. (Laffy Taffy = Hunger Games; hard candy = A Mercy) Um. Hi. Taffy isn’t made to sit on your tongue. You can smell it, yes, but you get no satisfaction from it until you bite down. It is engineered to be instantly consumed. How DARE I, after Suzanne Collins wrote a perfectly paced novel, try to take my time with a book clearly intended to suck you into its rushing current?!

Hard candy. A Mercy. Sula. They are made to be savored, to roll around on your tongue. To reread before you’ve even finished. You don’t have to rush. We’ve got all the time in the world.

O_O  (Did anyone else hear that smooth jazz start playing… Who dimmed the lights in here?!)

Which is to say: Hard candy is made to taste good the moment you start, no wolfing necessary.